Funny piece on Chuck Norris
Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 5:43 pm
http://blog.myspace.com/mychispace
Chuck Norris, quite possibly the next evolutionary step...
Current mood: envying Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Once plugged into the Matrix, it took Chuck Norris 6 minutes to do what it took Neo 3 movies to accomplish. He also beat Super Mario Bros in under 60 seconds while he was there.
The only reason World War II occured was because Chuck Norris was taking a nap.
Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.
Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy.
Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Chuck Norris open you would find another Chuck Norris inside, only smaller and angrier.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Chuck Norris was here."
Anyone can piss on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.
There are two kinds of people in this world: People who are Chuck Norris, and people who are going to die.
The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris owns and operates his own restaurant in Lubbock, Texas. Knuckle sandwiches are the only thing on the menu.
Chuck Norris can create a four-sided triangle.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Though too dangerous to harness, a Chuck Norris roundhouse generates enough energy to power the entire eastern seaboard for almost 18 hours.
When Chuck Norris passes Go, he collects $400.00
Chuck Norris' DNA is composed of a triple helix.
Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone.
Chuck Norris' testicles are also known as Adam and Eve. Chuck Norris has been around since the dawn of man.
Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.
Hitler committed suicide after hearing that Chuck Norris was swimming across the Atlantic to personally roundhouse kick him in the face.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris is where babies come from.
Chuck Norris invented the Penguin.
i would like to say thanks for that one chuck
Chuck Norris, quite possibly the next evolutionary step...
Current mood: envying Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Once plugged into the Matrix, it took Chuck Norris 6 minutes to do what it took Neo 3 movies to accomplish. He also beat Super Mario Bros in under 60 seconds while he was there.
The only reason World War II occured was because Chuck Norris was taking a nap.
Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.
Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy.
Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Chuck Norris open you would find another Chuck Norris inside, only smaller and angrier.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Chuck Norris was here."
Anyone can piss on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.
There are two kinds of people in this world: People who are Chuck Norris, and people who are going to die.
The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris owns and operates his own restaurant in Lubbock, Texas. Knuckle sandwiches are the only thing on the menu.
Chuck Norris can create a four-sided triangle.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Though too dangerous to harness, a Chuck Norris roundhouse generates enough energy to power the entire eastern seaboard for almost 18 hours.
When Chuck Norris passes Go, he collects $400.00
Chuck Norris' DNA is composed of a triple helix.
Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone.
Chuck Norris' testicles are also known as Adam and Eve. Chuck Norris has been around since the dawn of man.
Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.
Hitler committed suicide after hearing that Chuck Norris was swimming across the Atlantic to personally roundhouse kick him in the face.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris is where babies come from.
Chuck Norris invented the Penguin.
i would like to say thanks for that one chuck